Using Natural Consequences

It is important for us as parents to utilize "Natural Consequences"with our children as much as we can. Natural consequences are a good way for our children to learn because the consequence is directly related to a particular action (or lack of action) from our children.

Not everything our children do will have a natural consequence, but for those things that do, let these consequences work their magic! Listed below are a few examples of how children can learn the consequences of their decisions.

Suppose your daughter leaves her bike in the street and it gets run over by a car and ruined. The natural consequence for her actions is that she no longer has a bike to ride. She may beg and beg for another bike, and you may be tempted to buy her one. But then she hasn't learned the very important lesson of taking care of personal belongings. One way she can learn from this experience is to start doing extra jobs so that she can earn the money to buy herself a new bike. After working hard to earn a bike, chances are, she won't leave it in the street again!

Another example of natural consequences often occurs at the dinner table. Our children know that if they choose not to eat their dinner, they won't get anything else to eat the rest of the night. If they complain later on, we remind them that it was their choice not to eat dinner with the family and that the kitchen is closed for the night. The next night they will be faced with the same decision and hopefully they will remember the lesson they learned the previous night.

Allowing natural consequences to occur means not rescuing our child every time them make a mistake. If we always "rescue" our children every time they make a mistake, then we are teaching them to be irresponsible! We have seven children and it is a big job trying to remember everything for each child.

Therefore, the kids are responsible for making their own lunch for school and they are also responsible for getting their own jacket, homework, backpack, and lunch when we leave. It is a simple request and one that they are certainly capable of. If they forget any of these items, then
they will just have to suffer the consequences.

I will not continually run back to the school to bring forgotten items (except perhaps in an emergency). Because of this, they almost never forget their backpack or lunch!

Of course, we can't let children do anything that would harm themselves or others. If a child keeps running into the street, we can't simply say, "Well, if he gets hit by a car then he has learned his lesson!" That would be ridiculous! But life gives us plenty of opportunities to learn, and we as parents need to allow our children to grow through these experiences.

Note: This excerpt was taken from our book "Positive Parenting Using the G.O.L.D.
Standard: Developing Discipline Without Yelling, Spanking, Nagging, or Time-Outs!" Available at: FirstRateFamily.com