My Seven Year Old Has ADHD

Below is a question that one of our readers recently sent in:

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"Please help me. I want to get my 7 year old ADHD child to sit
still in class and copy from the board. Teacher is complaining that
he is not paying attention and not copying from the board and not
sitting in class. I have to yell and scream to make him to sit...
and his homework is not getting done."

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Here is an excellent response from Parenting Coach, Tom Dozier:

It is not what happens before the behavior, but what happens after
the behavior that really matters. To get your son to do the copying
from board work at school, you will need to know how your son did
each day in school. This is best done with a little note home from
the teacher each day. It could look like this...

Today _________ did his work in school. (and signed by the teacher).

When your son brings home the note, then something special happens
at home. He could play a special game with you or his father. He
could get a special snack, or he could get to play some other game
that he wants to play, but can not normally play. You could talk
with your son and make a list of things that he would like. Then,
he could choose from the list each day.

You could write each thing he wants to do on a strip of a paper,
and put the paper strips in a jar or bowl. When he gets a good note
from school, he picks one slip of paper and that is the special
activity he gets.

You want the fun activity to be worth enough for him to focus in
school and do his work. Over time, you can change the activities
and make them smaller. Let your son know that you will do this for
2 weeks, and then there will be some changes. BUT, you need to make
sure that the special activities are important enough for your son
to work hard to get them each day.

For homework, you do something similar. No yelling or nagging will
be needed to get him to do his homework. When he completes his
homework, then a special game or snack is earned. You should use
different things than for the school work. Homework should be easier
than the school work, so the rewards should be smaller.

You work for a paycheck each day. Set it up so your son does the
same. When you give your son the reward he has earned, smile, be happy,
hug him, and say something nice, like, "I'm glad you got your work done
today. Good job!"

When he does not get his work done (no note), all you need to say
is, "Oh, I know you are disappointed that you didn't get your special
reward. I hope you get it tomorrow." You don't need to nag. You
SHOULD NOT nag him. You don't need to have a big talk about how
unfair the teacher is, or that he really forgot the note at school.
It is simple, bring home the note, and then enjoy the reward.

Best regards,

Tom Dozier

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I hope you this question and answer has given you some ideas for
your own children. If you have your own question you would like to
have answered then please feel free to write Tom or send a reply to
me.