Article by Parenting Coach, "Why the G.O.L.D. Standard Works"

The following article is written by Tom Dozier, Parenting Skills
Trainer and Parenting Coach

Why the G.O.L.D. Standard Works

The extensive research in human behavior over the past half century
has shown conclusively that we do the things we do, because we get
something for doing it. Any behavior that occurs repeatedly is a
behavior that pays off. This is true for adults and children.
Many adults go to work each day. Every week or two, this behavior
pays off with a paycheck. Many days, this behavior pays off with
other people (hopefully the boss) expressing appreciation for a job
well done.

For children, the many behaviors they do also have payoffs. The
payoff for watching TV is enjoying the TV program. The payoff for
fighting over a toy may be getting the toy, the response of the
other child, or the attention of an adult. The payoff for helping
mom set the table should be a smile and words of appreciation from
mom.

Whatever happens after the behavior (the payoff) is called the
consequence. There are two types of consequences:

1. Negative consequences: The child will behave in a way to
avoid or terminate something unpleasant like being yelled at, having
things taken away, or getting a spanking;
2. Positive consequences: The child will behave in a way to earn
something desirable like attention from their parent, use of a toy,
a treat, etc.

For example, if we nag our child long and loud enough about their
messy room, they clean their room. So why did the child clean the
room, to avoid (or delay) more nagging. We could also say to our
child, "When you pick up the toys in your room, we can play a
special game together." Hopefully the child will clean the room so
they can play the game. In this case, the child is getting
something, the opportunity to be with and play with their parent.
The behavior, cleaning their room, was the same in both cases, but
in the first case it was done to avoid nagging, and in the second
case, it was done to get to play with mom or dad. Well, the room
got clean, so is there a difference? Yes, and its HUGE.

With negative consequences, the child behaves to avoid something.
Several bad things happen.
1. He only does the minimum amount to prevent the unpleasant
consequence
2. His motivation and ability to do the behavior (and other
positive behaviors) is reduced
3. The parent's positive influence is reduced
4. The doing of the behavior takes on the feeling of the
unpleasant consequence.

With positive consequences, the child behaves to get something.
Several good things happen.
1. He does the amount needed to earn the good reward, and often
gives extra discretionary effort
2. His motivation and ability to do the behavior increases
3. The parent's positive influence is increased
4. The doing of the behavior takes on the feeling of the
enjoyable reward.
5. The behavior will generalize to other behaviors. The child
will become creative looking for good things to do, even in totally
unrelated areas.
6. Everyone is happier!

In our homes, we need our children to do many things. When things
aren't going well, we do lots of nagging, yelling, criticizing and
sometimes spanking. We react to our children's inappropriate
behaviors. When we do this, we are using negative consequences.
It works for a while, but in the long run, it only gets worse and
worse. What we need to do is be proactive, to plan ahead and make
sure we provide positive consequences for appropriate behavior.
When we do this, thing get better and better.

Why the G.O.L.D. Standard Works: We have all experienced what is
called a "Token Economy", though we don't usually think of it by
this name. When we work at a job, we get paid with money. The
money has no intrinsic value. We can't provide any basic needs
with the actual currency. BUT, we can trade the money for many
things of great value at any store. In this case, the tokens are
real money. Think about it, we will all put in a full day of work
for a few pieces of paper (especially if they have $100 on them).

The G.O.L.D. Standard teaches you how to set up a token economy in
your home so that your children have a positive consequence for
doing the things they should. When your children do what they
should be doing, they earn tickets. The tickets are like money
that can be exchanged for valuable privileges and prizes that you
determine. This takes a little more work up front, but in the long
run it is much easier. Everyone is happier and you get all the
benefits of using positive consequences. Your children actually
choose to do the things they need to do.

In addition to the token economy, the G.O.L.D. Standard teaches you
how to stop fighting and arguing using the tickets as minor
punishment. This is much better than lecturing and yelling because
it avoids prolonged negative interactions. It is called a
"response cost." If a child chooses to respond to a difficult
situation with a sibling by yelling, then it costs the child a
ticket. The child knows this in advance, and so is motivated to
resolve the situation without fighting or arguing. The G.O.L.D.
Standard also teaches you how to use natural consequences, which
are very effective teachers.

Another significant behavioral principle discussed in Chapter 11 of
the G.O.L.D. Standard is talking to children with positive
language. This means that we should tell children what they are
supposed to do, rather than what they are to not do. Per behavior
scientist, Dr. Glenn I. Latham, "This may seem like a little thing,
but it is a powerfully important thing to tell children what they
are supposed to do."

Finally, the G.O.L.D. Standard gives you ideas and tips to make
your home a happy place. What the research shows is that families
that have many pleasant, positive interactions (and few negative
interactions) with each other have a low occurrence of
inappropriate behavior in the younger years, and greatly increased
odds of avoiding serious problems during the teenage years.

If you want to find out more about the G.O.L.D. Standard, click
here: http://www.firstratefamily.com

If you have questions applying the G.O.L.D. Standard in your home,
contact Wendy Jensen at wendy@firstratefamily.com

If you have questions or concerns about your child's behavior, I
would be glad to help.

We wish you the best, in your great parenting adventure.

Tom Dozier
Behaviorist, Parenting Skills Trainer and Parenting Coach
Guaranteed Parent Training
5801 Arlene Way
Livermore, CA 94550
925-371-1576
tomdozier@guaranteedpt.com