Family Night Lesson Idea

We recently had a great family home evening lesson put together by one of our kids (with my husband's help).  This is what they did: 

They had an orange and a big clear picture of water. Our son asked the family if they thought the orange would float or sink.  The family gave their guesses and then they put the orange in the container of water and it floated.  Then our son asked what we thought would happen if the orange was peeled.  Then they peeled
the orange and put it back in the water and it sank.

Then they had us read the bible from Ephesians 6:11-20 about putting on the whole armor (or armour) of God.  Verse 6 reads: "Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."

The they explained that the orange with its peel on is like having the armour of God on.  With its "armour" the orange is able to rise above the things of the world.  When it is stripped of its armour then it is pulled down by the things of the world. 

They explained what the armour is as listed in Ephesians, and what we can do to protect our own "armour" in order to rise above the things of the world.  Then they challenged us to pick an area where we can improve and work on this throughout the week.  Try this lesson in your own homes!

Good Luck!!

Creative Tickets and Posters!

 One of the wonderful things about our parenting program, "The GOLD Standard," is that you can adjust it to the needs of your own family.  Cody Taylor recently wrote to me and explained how they have recently re-implemented the GOLD Standard in their home.  He wrote:  "This weekend was fabulous!  Previously, cleaning the boy's room was an act of congress, not this last weekend.  Church has been rowdy for a while too, this week wasn't at the reverent level I was hoping for, but it was close!  Hopefully we can be disciplined enough as parents to be more consistent this time around.  If anyone says this doesn't work doesn't work, they are the ones that don't.  It really works, very well!"

Cody used photoshop to make cute tickets personalized to their family -- superheroes for the boys and princesses for the girls.  He sent me some pictures and I thought they were so cute I asked if I could post them for you all.  Also, I love the poster idea of using velco to attach the tickets to a poster.  We use pockets in our family, but this is so much more visual where you can see each ticket and the kids can see right off how many tickets they have.  Fantastic idea, Cody!

Happy Mother's Day!

My dear friend, Valerie Chandler, sent out this letter for Mother's Day and I liked it so much I asked her if I could send it on to all of you! 


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Holden [my son] and I have a favorite picture book. It is called, "Gingerbread Baby" by Jan Brett. It follows the traditional story as the gingerbread baby jumps out of the oven with a mind of his own, and runs cleverly away from all who would chase. But here is where it diverts-- While the townsfolk and animals run to catch the gingerbread baby, the little boy who made the cookie stays calmly home. In the sidebars of the chasing pages, the boy is baking, constructing and decorating a beautiful gingerbread house. He has a knowing look on his face as he places the house in the middle of the woods. And just like the little boy predicted, the hunted gingerbread baby runs right into the home to stay-- safe, protected, and so, so happy.

This little boy knew that home has extraordinary draw and pull. He knew that even when gingerbread babies may run, a home lures them in. Home is where they know they will be loved. Home is where their needs are cared for. Home is safe from the storm. Home is a place of acceptance and kindness. Home is where they are nurtured. And who has created this place of refuge? Who is the nurturer? Mother.

I read a sweet story the other day that was attributed to Mother Teresa:

"Mother Teresa (told) the story of a boy whom the sister found on the streets of Calcutta. He was living with his mother in a box. The sister took the boy back to the orphanage, bathed him , fed him, and gave him a clean bed to sleep in. The next day he disappeared. They found him in the box with his mother. Once again they took him back to the orphanage and once again he ran away. Mother Teresa said she learned a very important lesson that day-- a mother, even a mother in a box, was of the (most importance to a child)." (As quoted by Colleen Downs in "It Takes a Mother ti Raise a Village", page 5, Lightwave Publications 2001)

These stories touch me. They remind that all of those desires and feelings tucked deep in a woman's soul, and all of the day to day doing that mothers engage in, produce for children something intangible, but marvelous-- a home. Mothers with big, bulging hearts and righteous desires, even mothers in a box, create a home where a family wants to be-- a place of love, compassion and protection.

What a wonderful day of celebration! We are a homemakers. We are a nurturers with divine charge. We are mothers!

Here's to all of you with my love and admiration for your sweet mothering--


Valerie Chandler
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Thanks Val for that wonderful reminder of the importance of our divine call as mothers!! 


 

Help For Haiti

I went to drop off our bag of donations for Haiti at our elementary school this morning and was touched by the amount of donations filling the hallway in front of the office.  I cried all the way home.

I know many of you have participated in donation projects for Haiti too.  When we gathered our children together to ask what they could donate in the way of money and belongings, our five year old ran to her room and brought back one of her favorite dolls and stuffed animals so that one of the children in the Haiti orphanage could have something to play with.  I was moved by her willingness to serve.

What we do may not seem like a lot, but when we all do something, it will make a difference!  I am reminded of the quote by Edward Everett Hale:


I am only one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
And what I can do I ought to do.
And what I ought to do, by the grace of God,
I shall do!

I hope that we can all find it in our hearts to do our part to help the people of Haiti.

Thank you!!

Christmas Gift -- Family CD

I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and send you a little Christmas gift! Last year our family started a fun little tradition where we made a family CD of music that was special to us (with our kids singing).  It turned out so well that we decided to do it again this year!  This year, our theme was "favorite hymns."  Rick and the kids chose their favorite hymns, and recorded them. Consider it your e-Christmas gift from us - (I think it's better than cookies.)

Go here to listen (click on each song one at a time to hear all of them).  And don't miss out on our three year old's version of "Keep The Commandments"  It will definitely make you smile!

Christmas Gift Family CD

Have a wonderful Holiday Season!

Wendy

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

I know that all of you have touched the lives of other people for good and felt that love from other people in return.  This is a free song for you of one of our favorite hymns called, "Each Life That Touches Ours For Good" arranged and sung by my husband.  We hope you enjoy it and pass it along to your friends and loved ones! Click below to enjoy!

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

1000 Questions For Couples

This would be a fun gift for Christmas for your spouse or loved one:

1000 Questions For Couples

One of our readers wrote: "In order for my husband and I to grow closer together, we ordered the book "1000 Questions For Couples" by Michael Webb. Each day my husband and I pick a question from the book to ask each other. I have found that I like to have time to think about a question before answering it and so we each e-mail a question to each other (while he is at work and I am at home).

This gives us a chance to really think about the question and formulate a clear response. It helps us to get to know each other better and grow closer together. It has also sparked some
wonderful intimate discussions!" Here is the web-site:

1000 Questions For Couples


Here is a similar testimonial from the site:

"My husband and I have been emailing 3-4 of the questions and our answers each day for the last month and it has had the most wonderful effect on our relationship. I felt that we had just been 'coasting' for a while but now we are more in love than we have been in our 17 years together. And the resulting passion has been amazing."

Barbara Koen

For more information go to:

1000 Questions For Couples

They Will Notice

A friend of mine gave some great advice in her blog, "Kweenmama's Kastle," and I asked if I could share it with you. Here it is!

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This morning I wore the new slippers Mack gave me. Yesterday, after church, I wore the new flip-flops Hoob gave me. Before I leave the house today I will put on the new necklace and earrings Huh gave me. And this afternoon I will “pick a flower” that has a popsicle stick stem and see what chore Yawlin is willing to do for me.

Something that I’ve noticed is that my kids notice when I use and appreciate the gifts they give me. I will always treasure the memory I have of Huh getting a big grin on her face last Christmas break when I put my hand near her nose and said, “Smell how good the lotion you gave me smells.”

A little while ago I purposely wore a “pearler bead” necklace that Yawlin made me last year. It was fun to be running errands with him and have him suddenly say with pride, “You’re wearing the necklace I made you!”

My fingernail polish is housed in a salt dough bowl that Hoob made me a few years ago. A portrait that Mack drew hangs on our magnetic door that leads to the garage. I have three different sets of slippers that I can wear when my feet get cold and lots and lots of homemade jewelry.

One of the best ways to boost a kid’s self-esteem, and an easy way to show your love in return, is to use and appreciate the gifts they give you. So wear that stretched out bracelet. Drink from that lopsided mug. Hang up that colorful picture that makes you look like you are an alien. Eat those runny eggs and the burnt toast with gusto. Gifts were meant to be used, and the love our kids show us needs to be appreciated.

They will notice.

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Squeezing In Exercise

Exercise is something I am really passionate about. I have always made it a priority to exercise throughout my life. Since having kids, it is harder, but more important than ever. It hasn't always been easy and I've often had to change the type (or time) of my work-outs in order to fit whatever situation I am in. When I had one baby I bought a jogger stroller and brought her with me. When I had two, I bought a double jogger stroller and brought them both along on my runs. I would do my run and then jog to the park and let them play and then run home. When I had three kids (no, I didn't buy a triple jogger stroller -- but I thought about it) it was a little more difficult to get out. I couldn't take all three kids with me and so I either had to exercise when my hubby was home to watch the kids or do aerobics at home. Then I had a couple more kids and got a gym membership and worked out early in the morning before everyone else was awake. Later on (after another baby) I switched to a different gym that had a child care. I brought ALL of my kids to the kids center while I worked out. The kids loved the kids center and I got in a terrific workout. I took an intensive kick-boxing class which I loved. A year or so later, however, I got pregnant again and it was too much for me to keep up with and so I let the membership lapse. Now that the baby is here, I go walking or running in the mornings before my husband goes to work. I love it. I crave the quiet "me" time. The fresh cool morning air is so invigorating and always lifts my spirits. I enjoy taking in the beautiful scenery around me, and listening to the birds sing. It is very calming and it is during this time that I can actually think without any kids screaming in the background. I usually work out between 30 and 60 minutes, five days a week. My husband is one of those people that hates exercise and it worries me. Obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart problems run in both our families. I have seen the miserable and dangerous affects that a lack of exercise can cause in one's life. I will do everything I can to prevent such health problems and hopefully he will come around too! Since he lives only a half mile from his job, I often walk him to work, so at least he is getting something! Exercise program or not, losing weight has not always been easy. Currently I have a seven month old baby (my seventh child) and have struggled with losing the pregnancy weight. Just within the past couple of weeks the scale has finally started to change for the better but I still have a ways to go. But I have many reasons for exercise besides just losing weight, however. Exercising makes me a better mom. I have more energy and feel better about myself when I exercise and that certainly spills over into my home life. I feel less stressed and better able to cope with the constant demands of parenthood. Another benefit is that I am setting a good example to my children. I want to instill within them a love of physical activity and teach them that our bodies are precious and we need to take care of them. I don't think we can let "lack of time" be an excuse. It is a matter of priorities. Even if my house is a disaster and I have half a dozen loads of laundry to be done, I still put my work-out first. There will always be housework -- it is never ending (especially in a family as large as ours is). But if my health fails then I won't be able to take care of my kids OR my house and so my health comes first (that includes getting enough sleep too)! It is never too late to start exercising. My sister always hated exercising. I don't know what changed but a couple years ago she started working out and now she loves it. She lost a lot of weight and looks fabulous! So my plug for today is start some sort of exercise and then build on it. You don't have to go out and start training for a Marathon. Take it one step at a time. I am trying to get back into running and it hasn't been easy. The first time (after having my baby) that I went running, I barely made it to the end of the street. I was sore for the rest of the day and the next. Then I went running again and went twice as far before I realized, "Hey, I just ran that whole way without passing out!" It has improved since then. I am certainly no where near where I was during my high school track days, but it is coming. Our bodies are forgiving thank goodness! So, join with me -- let's get moving!!

Losing It...

I recently discovered a new web site called Juice Box Jungle that features weekly video programs on various parenting topics. The current program is called “Losing it.” I have seven kids ages thirteen years down to six months. And they are awesome kids. But with so many children, it is definitely easy to "lose it." In fact, I am constantly losing something (but unfortunately it is NOT pounds)! I am always searching for lost shoes, socks, school papers, keys...and my sanity!

I think we all go through various “difficult” stages with our children. The kids that push my button the most right now are my four year old and two year old. The others definitely have their moments as well, but it is these two (and maybe because I am with them ALL DAY LONG with no break) that really test my patience!

This morning my four year old kept bumping the baby in her swing. After telling her repeatedly to stop, she proceeded to fix herself a bowl of raisin bran spilling the entire contents all over the floor. Just after I swept that up I turn around to hear her sobbing. She is on the snack bar (don't ask me why) and somehow accidentally sat in her brother’s bowl of cereal. Now she is wailing again with milk running down her legs and dress. I am trying to keep my cool while peeling the dress from her soggy body. She starts to whine, “But I want to wear the pink dress!!”

Now my two year old is also shrieking. He has the loudest, highest pitch scream I have ever heard. If things don’t go his way he can transform right before my eyes from the sweetest little boy you ever saw to a raging monster. He is sitting at a little high chair attached to the snack bar with some raisins. One accidentally falls to the floor and you would think he has just been bitten by a poisonous snake judging from the piercing scream erupting from his lips. Suddenly he forgets that he is quite adept at speaking and resorts to incomprehensible blood-curdling shrieks. Meanwhile I am standing by with my hands clamped over my ears attempting to remind him to “use words” and “ask nicely.”

Keeping ones cool amongst a sea of chaos can be extremely difficult to say the least. I liked JBJ’s video suggestion of watching “Super Nanny” so that you don’t feel so bad about your own children’s behavior. I have watched this with my kids…."those children are being very naughty! I am sure glad that you kids never act like that (hint hint)!” Another great stress reliever is to try and keep a sense of humor (I know, easier said, than done). After all, what is so funny about my two year old shrieking, "I want spaghettios!" over and over at 7:30 in the morning?

My husband is better than me at laughing when our kids' throw tantrums and whine. He pulled out the video-camera on our sobbing six year old daughter: "Wow! You are good! Look at those tears -- what an actress! “I’m gonna show this to your first date!” Her screams are getting louder and louder by the second but by this time we are laughing so hard we don’t care!

Unfortunately my husband is not usually home during the day to keep my sense of humor in check and so sometimes I have to resort to other methods – like picturing my neighbors peering in the windows. Or hiding away in my bedroom for a quick breather. Praying often helps too. My sister-in-law said that she made a conscious choice to not yell anymore and that it made a vast improvement in their home (see next post for her story). I try to ignore tantrums whenever I can so as not to reward that kind of misbehavior. I even resorted to wearing ear plugs for awhile.

Today my six year old and four year old were arguing to the point of getting physical. I told them that they were making my heart hurt and that I was going to cry. My six year old’s eyes filled with tears and she gave me a hug and said she was sorry. My four year old followed suit. I don’t even care if it was a guilt trip – it worked.

Do I ever lose it with my kids? Of course. Do I apologize? Yes. And from that my kids have learned to apologize too when they lose it. At least they have learned that I am not perfect, but I am trying. And so can they.

The on-going experiment...

My sister-in-law, Alicia, recently wrote this post in her blog and I thought that it had some great wisdom for all of us as parents and so I asked for her permission to pass it along to you. She writes:

"It seems to me that the blogs I read (or at least mine) tend to focus on the good things in life...trips to the zoo, funny things my kids have said, exciting events or fun activities that are always happening around here. So I've put off blogging about this experiment for a little while for a couple reasons. First, because I am not proud of how this experiment started and second because I wanted to make sure it was more of a permanent change than a whim. That being said, here is the story.

About a month ago I realized a big change I needed to make in myself. I found myself becoming increasingly irritable, frustrated, and unpleasant. And I was yelling. Not all the time, but enough that it worried me. So one evening, I realized that I needed to make a conscious choice. Was I going to be a mom/wife who yells? Or one who doesn't? For me that was not a hard choice to make. I decided to choose to be a mom who doesn't yell. Now there isn't, to my knowledge anyway, a 12-step program to reduce yelling in the home, so I decided to just take it a day at a time and stop yelling. Cold Turkey.

And somehow, it worked! The first week was especially difficult. I had to employ deep breathing techniques, set my jaw, bite my tongue...whatever it took. When the first week was over, the next week was even easier. Now, 4 weeks later, I have no desire to yell in anger. I love what this change has done in our home. We are all happier and my stress levels have decreased. The feeling of peace in our home is great.

It is interesting how much control we actually have over our lives. Not over everything in our lives, obviously, but over a lot of the aspects of parenting. It's not what we're handed, it's what we do with it that counts...we can choose how to handle the situations we find ourselves in, at least to some extent. Just making that choice not to yell was a big change for me and it has been a very good one. It has increased the peace in our home. Now I just need to work on keeping it clean..."

(Posted by Alicia)

Free Easter Lesson and Printouts

Easter can be a wonderful time to create traditions together as a family. On Easter Sunday, our family attends church services (as we do every Sunday). But we also take this opportunity to gather our family together in our home for a song, prayer, and special lesson.

If you (like us) are Christian, then this is a perfect time to share your beliefs about Jesus Christ and His resurrection. If you would like some lesson ideas on how to do this then here is a link to a primary lesson that is used to teach young children about Christ and His resurrection: Primary lesson on Easter

If you want more ideas for children, then here is a link to the April Friend Magazine. I hope you all have a wonderful Easter Sunday. Take this opportunity to gather your family around you and let them know how much you love them!

Developing Self-Esteem In Our Children

There seems to be a strong correlation between our own self-esteem and the self-esteem of our children. This point was driven home the other day when I happened to catch an episode of "Oprah" while folding laundry.

The subject of this particular show was self-esteem in children. They interviewed mothers of three and four year old girls who were already concerned about their weight and saying things like, "I'm too fat!" Then they brought on a beautiful young woman who said that she had extremely low self-esteem. She related how she would go home and cry and cry because she thought she was so ugly.

I was wondering how someone so beautiful could possibly think she was ugly? And why were these pre-schoolers already thinking about their weight? Then the moment of realization came when their mothers were brought on the show and both mothers and daughters were interviewed.

The young woman related that growing up she would often find her mother in her room sobbing. When she would ask her mom what was wrong, her mom would say something to the effect of, "Oh I just look so hideous today!" Things of this nature happened often with the mom always saying how fat she (herself) was or how horrible she looked.

Well, somehow these feelings of insecurity and self-doubt were passed down from mother to daughter. Even though the mom would try and build up her daughter by telling her how pretty she was, the daughter somehow only managed to carry on the negative messages that her mom kept telling herself every day.

This was so eye-opening to me. All of the kids on the show ended up with low self-esteem not because their moms' put them down, but because their moms' continually put THEMSELVES down. In many cases, the moms' had grown up with low self-esteem because of situations in their own life growing up and so they purposely praised their children in the hopes of giving their
children the self-esteem that they themselves never had.

But apparently the message that the parents gave about themselves talked far more loudly than the encouragement they gave to their children. Watching this really made me think about my own life and has helped me to be more cautious of negative self-talk.

If we want our children to have a positive self-esteem, then it is critical that we have our OWN self-esteem first. Our children learn so much through observing and if they see happy capable
parents, then they will have a lot better chance of becoming happy capable adults as well! Something to think about!

Wendy Jensen
http://www.firstratefamily.com

Tell Your Children You Love Them!

Today take your children in your arms one at a time and look them
in the eyes and tell them how much you love them and how important
they are to you!

We need to show our children that we love them, but they also need
to hear it -- we all do!

A Neat Family Tradition

Here is a Family Tradition shared by a young mother of 5 children, ages 3-13, that I thought was really neat. She writes: At Christmas, my husband gives each of our children a book. In the front of each book, he writes a letter of love and appreciation to that particular child. Our children treasure these books and love to read and reread the letters even more than the book. These letters mean so much to our children that I typed all of the letters onto the computer just in case any of the books were ever lost.

Does Your Family Have Good Habits?

My kids brought this "Parent Quiz" home from school on a flyer the other day and I thought I would pass it along. It is taken from "The Parent Institute," a division of NIS, Inc, Inc.,www.parent- institute.com "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." --George Santayana 

Parent Quiz -- Does your family have good habits?

When families have good habits at home, school life is much easier for children. Answer the following questions "yes" or "no" to see if you're encouraging important family habits:

 ____1. Do you have at least one meal together as a family each day?

 ____2. Do you plan plenty of time in your schedule for family fun?

 ____3. Do you encourage morning, bedtime and homework routines?

 ____4. Do you enforce important rules fairly and consistently? 

 ____5. Do you show love for your child in many ways, such as by listening carefully and saying, "I love you!" 

 How did you do? Each "yes" answer means you're working to make home life routine and reliable. For each "no" answer, consider ways suggested in the quiz to change your response to yes. You'll see a difference at home and at school.  Again, the "Parent Quiz" is taken from the "Helping Children Learn" newsletter. For more information to go: www.parent-institute.com 

A Lesson Of Charity Learned From My Child

Every once in awhile we as parents have the opportunity of seeing something special happen with our children that leaves us just a little bit in awe. Such a moment happened just the other day. My ten year old daughter came walking into the kitchen and announced matter of factly, "I don't want any presents for Christmas this year -- I want to send all my money to Humanitarian..." Wondering if she even knew what that big word meant I asked, "What do you mean by `Humanitarian'?" She said, "You know -- people who are poor. I mean, I already have enough stuff, I don't need any more. Do you think I could pack up our stuffed animals and things and give it to someone who doesn't have any?" Granted she doesn't have much money or toys to begin with, but I thought it was neat that she would be willing to give up all of her Christmas presents in order to help someone else! She notices the little things too. She came home from church one Sunday and said "Kathy (one of her teachers) seemed a little sad today -- is it okay if I make cookies and bring them over to her? And can we bring cookies to the new neighbors who just moved in?" "Sure!" I replied. We enjoyed the evening together baking cookies and talking and laughing. She then brought the gifts to our neighbors in order to cheer one up and to make another feel welcome. It was just a little thing but it was an important reminder for me. The Gift of Charity -- What a wonderful lesson my child taught me that day! 

Write Down Precious Moments!

Kids do and say the funniest things! One of the little things I have learned is to write those things down before they become faded memories soon to slip away into oblivion. I am an avid journal writer and have kept a journal ever since I was ten years old. I am so grateful for these writings as I can go back and "re-live" many precious moments that have happened in my life. I can also go back and see that I have survived hard times and that things really did get better! I also make it a point to write down the cute and funny things that my children have done through the years. Here are a couple of incidents that happened just this month. I brought my children to our local park and my toddler straddled one of the monkey bars like a saddle. She then shouted, "Look -- I'm riding a horse -- MOO MOO!" It was just a little thing but it made me laugh! So I wrote it down in my journal when we got home. Another "funny" I recently recorded was when my toddler was playing with my pre-schooler. They were playing with their brother's little match box cars and my pre-schooler in all of her wisdom explained to my toddler, "These are called hot-wheels." My toddler then piped up and said, "No -- these are called cold-wheels!" Little things like this happen everyday! Just last night we were watching some local fireworks from a vantage point in our back yard. My three-year-old daughter was sitting on my lap and shouted: "This is AMAZING!" I didn't even know she knew that word and it made her sound so...well, grown up! It was another fun thing to record in my journal! Again, be sure to make a record of the fun things your children do and say. You think you will remember them, but chances are, you won't! My children love to have me read to them all of the funny things they said and did when they were younger. My son will often say, "Mom, will you read me more stories about when I was a baby?" I enjoy reading my journals to them because it helps me remember many things that I have long forgotten. Take just a minute today to write down some of your thoughts including the precious feelings you have for your child. Some day those thoughts will become treasured documents! Time flies by so quickly, record it before it slips away. Remember, a life written down is a life twice lived! If you have enjoyed this blog then please pass it on to a friend! 

Fun Activities For Kids

I would like to share a few fun activities you can do with your kids. My sister introduced our family to "Flubber" when her family came to visit to our home last year. It was a hit!! Our kids has a blast both making it and playing with it! You can put a straw in it and blow huge bubbles, or press different shapes into it using molds or cookie cutters. It is great for a science project and also makes for a very fun family. For recipe click RIGHT HERE!

This web-site also contains the recipe for home-made play-dough. I make play-dough with our kids fairly often. The kids love to be able to help make it and choose their own colors. Play-dough
keeps them entertained for a long time! Home-made play-dough is more fun than play-dough you buy at the store since it is softer and more workable and lasts longer.

Another fun activity to do with your kids is face-painting. Face Painting is fun for Birthday Parties, Halloween, Carnivals, School Events, or just for a fun activity to do with your kids!

For information on face-painting, click HERE.

Once you learn how, you can even make a little money by face-painting at community carnivals or other events. The most important thing, however, is to just have fun with your kids. Try doing some of these activities together!

For more parenting tips, go to FirstRateFamily.com!

Using Natural Consequences

It is important for us as parents to utilize "Natural Consequences"with our children as much as we can. Natural consequences are a good way for our children to learn because the consequence is directly related to a particular action (or lack of action) from our children.

Not everything our children do will have a natural consequence, but for those things that do, let these consequences work their magic! Listed below are a few examples of how children can learn the consequences of their decisions.

Suppose your daughter leaves her bike in the street and it gets run over by a car and ruined. The natural consequence for her actions is that she no longer has a bike to ride. She may beg and beg for another bike, and you may be tempted to buy her one. But then she hasn't learned the very important lesson of taking care of personal belongings. One way she can learn from this experience is to start doing extra jobs so that she can earn the money to buy herself a new bike. After working hard to earn a bike, chances are, she won't leave it in the street again!

Another example of natural consequences often occurs at the dinner table. Our children know that if they choose not to eat their dinner, they won't get anything else to eat the rest of the night. If they complain later on, we remind them that it was their choice not to eat dinner with the family and that the kitchen is closed for the night. The next night they will be faced with the same decision and hopefully they will remember the lesson they learned the previous night.

Allowing natural consequences to occur means not rescuing our child every time them make a mistake. If we always "rescue" our children every time they make a mistake, then we are teaching them to be irresponsible! We have seven children and it is a big job trying to remember everything for each child.

Therefore, the kids are responsible for making their own lunch for school and they are also responsible for getting their own jacket, homework, backpack, and lunch when we leave. It is a simple request and one that they are certainly capable of. If they forget any of these items, then
they will just have to suffer the consequences.

I will not continually run back to the school to bring forgotten items (except perhaps in an emergency). Because of this, they almost never forget their backpack or lunch!

Of course, we can't let children do anything that would harm themselves or others. If a child keeps running into the street, we can't simply say, "Well, if he gets hit by a car then he has learned his lesson!" That would be ridiculous! But life gives us plenty of opportunities to learn, and we as parents need to allow our children to grow through these experiences.

Note: This excerpt was taken from our book "Positive Parenting Using the G.O.L.D.
Standard: Developing Discipline Without Yelling, Spanking, Nagging, or Time-Outs!" Available at: FirstRateFamily.com