Parents at the Crossroads

I have been thinking lately about how important it is to be at the crossroads of our children's lives. I watch our kids as they run in and out of the house as if going through a circular door and it seems like the years are passing right before my eyes. How important it is to be there to give our child a hug and and "I love you" as they head out to school. How equally important it is to be there when they come home with a ready ear to hear about their day.

When I was a child, I remember sitting down next to my mom after school or other events and giving her a running dialogue about what had happened. When I was a little older I would go into her room after dates and sit on the edge of her bed and give her the blow by blow account. It really helped me to make wise choices when I knew I would be giving a full report to my mother!"

I love this statement from my friend Valerie Chandler's Blog: "... Often, it's the informal times when kids talk and you feel most satisfied with your interactions. I can pepper my boys with questions at the dinner table about what they learned at school or church and they are mute, but it is obscure moments in the car, as we work together, or when they are in bed at night that kids confide and share. I am thinking that it is for that very reason President Benson advised mothers to 'be at the crossroads.'"

This is so true! My thirteen year old daughter often confides in me the usual teenage ups and downs -- school, friends, her secret crush, humerous exchanges from kids at school, and embarrassing moments. Many of these "talks" occur right when she gets home from school during that bit of quiet time when the little ones are sleeping and the boys are still at school. Other conversations happen during spontaneous moments during the day such as when we are cleaning the kitchen together or going somewhere in the car. We can't always plan a special conversation with our children -- many times they just happen -- IF we are in tune and available. It is not just "quality time" time that is important, but "quantity time" too, for that is when most quality time naturally occurs.

Valerie shared a quote from President Benson which I would also like to share: "...take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going--when they leave and return from school--when they leave and return from dates--when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen." (To the Mothers in Zion, President Ezra Taft Benson Fireside for Parents 22 February 1987)