A Fun Good-Night Ritual!

"The true gifts of life lie in the moment. That is why we call it the present."

I have recently been reading an interesting book called "I Love You Rituals" by Becky A. Bailey, PH.D. (HarperCollins Books 2000).

Becky discusses the importance of appropriate and caring touch with our children. She writes: "Touch is the only sense we cannot live without....without touching and being touched, a child will die. In 1920, Dr. Henry Chapin, A New York pediatrician, reported that the death rate for infants under two years of age in institutions across the United States was 100 percent. These infants received adequate food and shelter. What was missing for these babies was caring touch. Chapin concluded that being handled, carried, cuddled, and caressed was necessary for life." (p. 10)

In her book she states, "I Love You Rituals are delightful interactions and games that adults can play with children from infancy through eight years of age and that send the message of
unconditional acceptance. Unconditional acceptance is love." (pg.3) Some of these games (such as the one mentioned below can be modified for older children as well).

I've used one of these little games with my own children and they absolutely love it! It is called "Good night Elbow." This is the game: "Tell your child, "I am going to say goodnight to your ears,
your hair, your forehead, your eyebrows, your shoulders, and your elbows." Continue down the child's body, saying goodnight to as many parts as you want to. Each time you say goodnight to a body part, touch that part. Each touch involves a gentle massage, helping your child relax for a good night of sleep. Take your time. Use the time to relax as well by emptying your mind of
clutter and being totally present with your child." ("I Love You Rituals pg. 155) click here.

I started this with my children a few weeks ago and now they beg for it every night. I gently run my fingers through their hair as I say, "Good night hair!" Then I trace their eyebrows and cheeks and nose as I say "good night" to each part of their face. If I forget to say "good night" as I do it then my two and three year old will remind me by exclaiming, "say it, say it!" They always try and prolong the game by saying "you forgot my ears" or "you forgot my ankles!" When I get to their feet I say, "Good night stinky feet!" and of course they giggle with delight. One of my daughters loves to be tickled and always says, "aaahhh, that feels sooo good!" All of the kids ask to play it and even my son (who has never been the touchy-feely type) will say, "I want it too -- I like it!"

This little bed-time ritual gives me the chance to connect with each child one at a time and lets them know how much I love them. It even helps my active two-year-old relax her way to dream-land! These little rituals have added bonuses as they boost brain potential and build bonds of unconditional love!

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